Frederick and his Horse
by coolemyasi
Summary: So my triumphant return to fanfiction writing is going to be this lovely crackfic about Frederick from Fire Emblem: Awakening and how he likes his horse more than most people. It was a thought that came to me during my first playthrough, and I decided to run with it. In this particular save file, my avatar was named Akari, and Fred was married to Lissa.


In the kingdom of Ylisse, strange occurrences have been happening more and more frequently. It's not surprising at all that the Royals' Great Knight and butler Frederick has some oddball qualities about him. Back before the brunette had become the overpowered Risen killing Great Knight he is today, he started off as a Cavalier, and when he became a Cavalier, a wonderful horse was given to him. She had big brown eyes and a beautiful brown coat, and Frederick instantly fell in love with this horse. He decided to name her Chrom after the prince he was training to protect. Frederick and Chrom the horse became fast friends, and he and his majestic beast had a great connection to one another. As Fred rose through the ranks and became stronger and stronger, even going on to train some of the new Cavaliers that joined the Shepards, the bond between the man and his horse became even stronger. Fred told Chrom all of his secrets, including how he'd started to grow fond of Princess Lissa, and the different plans that the knight had drafted to keep her and Prince Chrom safe. He talked to his horse more than he talked to most people, and without her by his side he'd be completely lost.

One day Frederick was approached by Lissa, who told him he needed to learn how to relax and to stop being so uptight. Not knowing how to slack off like a pro, the Great Knight turned to the princess for lessons on how to do so. Whilst Frederick was being trained artfully in the art of slacking off by Lissa, the fondness he'd had for the Cleric slowly blossomed into love, and he eventually asked the girl to be his bride. Lissa accepted his proposal, and the two were soon married. Frederick loved Lissa dearly, but his love for Chrom the horse outweighed the love for his wife. The day he'd given Lissa her wedding ring, Fred had gone off and had new armor made for Chrom the horse so she wouldn't feel jealous of his bride, and the horse's armor cost twice what the ring did, though Fred never told his wife that detail. Frederick and Lissa were barely married for a year when Chrom, the prince, and his wife had their daughter Lucina. Frederick told Chrom the horse all about the baby and how it was their job to keep her and her father safe.

Not too long after Lucina's birth, war was declared on Ylisse and rumors that someone was trying to revive the Fell Dragon Grima had reached the kingdom. Soon after war was declared, an older version of Lucina appeared, well technically she'd showed up earlier but had introduced herself as Marth, and hadn't mentioned that she was Chrom's daughter until this point. Lucina explained that she didn't come back in time by herself, and there were other children from the future running around the kingdom, and one by one the Shepards found them and added them to their ever growing ranks. The first child from the future to join them was Lissa and Frederick's son Owain. The boy was a bit on the odd side, always talking about his 'sword hand' talking to him or hungering for something. Frederick did not know how to handle his son at all, and was a little uncomfortable with the situation.

Despite the fact that the resurrection of Grima was likely to happen, the Shepards managed to find a day where everyone could just relax for a minute. Fred used this free day to spend some quality time with his beloved horse. Chrom was so happy that Fred was giving her attention again, she'd become rather jealous of the time Fred had been spending with Owain trying to understand him a little bit. Chrom did not take very well to the boy's flamboyant actions, and the second he'd attempted to get too close to the horse, she'd tried to bite him. After reassuring Chrom that she was still the top priority in his life, Fred decided he was going to go to a nearby village and find some lovely new things for his horse.

"I think today would be a great day to buy something nice for the most important girl in my life right now. She's always by my side no matter what, and definitely has earned herself a reward." The brunette said loudly to himself as he set off towards the village on his horse.

Lissa had happened to be near the stable at the time, wanting to go in to check on some of the Pegasus, and when she'd heard what her husband had said, got really excited. She went to talk to the Master Tactician, Akari, that she and her brother had found in a field about two years earlier. The tactician had been talking to her son, Morgan, but upon seeing Lissa, the boy decided to wander off and see what kinds of traps he could practice setting. Akari looked at the princess and smiled, one eyebrow raised curiously.  
"Well, well. What's got the top healer in all Ylisse all excited today?" She asked, resting a hand on her hip.  
Lissa beamed brightly. "I overheard Fred saying he was going to buy me something special for always being by his side!" The princess clapped her hands excitedly. "I hope it's something pretty, like a new necklace!"  
Akari smiled. "Well, whatever he gets is sure to come from the heart because he obviously loves you so much." The two women wandered towards the castle, Akari carefully leading Lissa past a cleverly hidden pitfall Morgan had dug earlier.

Off in the nearby village, Fred was buying all sorts of lovely and expensive things for his one true love, Chrom the horse. The fanciest imported oats and apples, a new saddle lined with the softest fabrics, and a new set of brushes to ensure Chrom had the nicest coat in all of Ylisse. After spending thousands of gold on his horse, the brunette headed back to the stables and started to spoil his horse rotten by giving her a good brushing with the fancy new brushes he'd bought for her.  
"Oh Chrom, you're the only one that understands me. You're always there for me in battle, and I would be completely lost without you." The knight whispered almost seductively to his horse.

Lissa huffed softly from outside the stable upon hearing this. From the sounds of things to her, she was about to walk in on her husband with her brother in a tender embrace. She balled her hands into fists and walked through the door.  
"Frederick! What are you- OH DEAR GODS WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" The blonde couldn't believe what she was seeing. Her husband had his arms wrapped around his horse's neck and his face was practically buried in the horse's black mane. Upon hearing his wife's cry of surprise, the brown haired knight quickly spun around towards her, his face bright red.  
"Oh, uh… How long have you been standing there, Milady?" Frederick had never been caught talking to his horse in this fashion by anybody.  
"I've been outside the stable for like 5 minutes. I came back here because I thought that you were off buying me something nice because you love me! Because you appreciate how I'm always there for you in battle! Then I hear you talking to 'Chrom' and I thought I was about to catch you having an affair with my older brother! THIS IS SO MUCH WORSE OH MY GODS!"

Frederick rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Well, the horse does share a name with your brother, that's true, but the bond I have with this horse is stronger than any I have with other humans… I'm sorry I got your hopes up when you overheard me, but Chrom really is the one I'd be lost without, mostly because I don't move very fast on foot…"

Lissa let out an upset sigh and walked over to her husband. She smacked him hard across the face. "Stop being crazy! Obviously you care about me to some degree, how would Owain exist otherwise?!"  
Frederick bit his lip nervously. "About that… Are you sure he's even my son? I mean no one on my side of the family has a possessed hand that's constantly hungering for things…"  
Lissa smacked him again. "Of course he's you're son, he looks just like you! Obviously at some point in the future I break your lust with that stupid horse of yours and remind you that you like human women!" She huffed loudly and stormed off.

Frederick gently patted the horse's neck. "It's okay, Chrom, she just doesn't understand. You're not stupid." He cooed softly to his horse and went back to brushing her coat, softly telling her how much she meant to him. While he was grooming his horse, he spotted Sumia running through the stables out of the corner of his eye. She was making a beeline towards her Pegasus cackling maniacally, with Henry not that far behind her. Frederick blinked as he watched the scene unfold before him. Henry was panting slightly. "Henry NO! You're going to scare her!" The dark mage called after the Falcon Night.  
"It'll be fine, Sumia, I'll be gentle!" Sumia called back to the white haired man. "She trusts you, and I really want to go for a ride!"

Soon the two were out of site, causing Fredrick to blink once again in confusion. "I don't even want to know what kind of weird roleplaying they've got going over there…" The brunette shrugged off the actions of his teammates and went back to brushing his horse. "If I ever start acting like Lissa in that manner, you have my permission to kick me to the ground and stamp me a little." Fred laughed and nuzzed the horse's soft brown neck. "Chrom, I don't know what I'd ever do without you." He sighed contently. The horse stamped her foot and whinnied.

At the entrance to the stable, Chrom, the prince, stood and watched his Great Knight getting all mushy with his horse, a look of disgust plastered on his face. "I didn't think Fred could get any weirder after the recruitment poster fiasco, but Lissa's right… This is pretty bad…" The blue haired prince shuddered. In the distance there was a scream as Lissa had fallen into Morgan's pitfall, followed quickly by a lot of apologies from the boy and his mother.


End file.
